Five minutes with Dane Baptiste

Comic Relief live

Ahead of his gig at Cardiff’s Glee Club for Comic Relief Live, we sat down with Dane Baptiste to talk pre-show rituals and hecklers who can’t spell.

Hi Dane, it's not long until you hit the stage for Cardiff's Comic Relief Live gig, how do you prepare before a show?
Reading my old Blackberry. I've had it for six years and the buttons have fallen off, but it's my crutch.

What’s the best heckle you’ve had?
A rude heckler with a stag party interrupted the whole night to call himself 'Sperm Donor' but spelled it 'Sperm Doner'. It made everyone's night!

If you weren’t a comedian, what would you be doing?
Spiralling into depression and collecting Jobseeker's Allowance.

How did you get into stand-up?
By realising I couldn't get into anything else. Five corporate disciplinary hearings will do that to you.

What’s your favourite Comic Relief sketch?
The Luther sketch!

Finish the classic joke:

Knock Knock who's there? Boo. Boo who? No need to cry it's only a joke. But I am a baliff.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it didn't give a cluck.

A man walks into a bar… ouch, this pub crawl needs to come an end.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman… are all split over Brexit results.

What do you call abear with no teeth? A gummi bear. 

Catch Dane Baptiste at Cardiff's The Glee Club on Thursday 9 February for Comic Relief Live.